Translations

While on Mainau Island this past weekend the family sat down German style for a snack. German style meaning everyone shares tables with other families. At our table were two ladies waiting for their husbands to bring the beer (good men). Our family sat down and started talking about the day. When the men returned they all started having a jolly 'ol time. One thing led to another and the man sitting next to Gracie started speaking to her in German. She looked at him they way she always does when she has no idea what is being said to her. So trying to avoid the man being totally insulted, I tried to pick up as much as I could.
I pick up small parts of what he's saying, but he finds himself so funny that he is laughing while speaking German, eating and drinking a beer which is making it even harder for me. I am trying to focus so hard on what he's saying that perspiration starts to bead up on my forehead and soon I realize my family has given up and left me. Finally, I am able to tell him where we live, where we are from and all that introductory stuff. They hear United States and the only English they use the whole time is "oh you from New York?!" Not to disappoint I say "Yup!" Because really at this point I have no idea where I am technically from. I keep hearing him say Osterriech over and over. I've heard this many times but damn if I can place it. Finally it occurs to me Osterreich is AUSTRIA. They are from Austria.
And so this leads me to the question...why the hell do we confuse ourselves even more by changing countries' names??? Osterreich (Austria), Deutschland (Germany), Schweiz (Switzerland), Belgien (Belgium)...If that is the name the country picks for themselves why do different countries change it? I'd be pissed if someone started calling me Mary just because that is their translation for Sage. How hard is it to say Sage?
Now let's dive even deeper. Here in Europe on the license plates they put a letter in the corner to signify where the car is registered. OK, good idea. Deutschland gets a D, makes sense, Osterreich gets an "A". Why the hell does Osterreich get an "A"? It's like they are not fully committed to their name. Then there is my favorite, Schweiz, they get a "CH" WHAT????
Now when you go shopping in Osterreich the shirts say Austria instead of the name they have given themselves. I'm beginning to think that Osterreich has a complex about the name they have chosen for themselves. My theory is they think Austria is a better name for them and they can't change it at this point, so they are just going to try to phase "Osterreich" out. Soon people will start saying they are from the country formerly known as Osterreich (kind of like the artist formerly known as Prince did).
But I will not give in. To me it is Osterreich, Deutschland, Schweiz and Belgien, because if I'm not going to answer to the name Mary then I have to be totally committed to the cause.